


Sober Up

by urdnotshepard



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, James Lives, James raising Harry with Sirius & Remus, Lily Evans Potter Dies, Raising Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 19:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14195703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urdnotshepard/pseuds/urdnotshepard
Summary: James has lost his soul mate, but their green-eyed boy still needs him.Thankfully he has Sirius and Remus around to help.





	Sober Up

~~~Lily’s Grave~~~

How could he do this?  How could he go on without her?  How could he go on without the one person that he’d known since he was 11 years old was meant to be his?  How could he go on without seeing those dragon’s eyes and those dancing red locks or that breathtaking smile?  How could he possibly be expected to live like this?

“James… mate Harry’s crying,” Sirius said as he came up behind his best friend, one hand clasping James’s shoulder while the other struggled to hold onto the bawling 1 year old.

James, his eyes red and sunken and his cheeks hollow, glanced up at the touch.  He lifted a bottle of fire whiskey to his lips, tossing it back without truly tasting it or feeling the burn of the potent liquor.  He just starred with unseeing eyes at the man who was his brother in all but blood, at the child who needed nothing so much as he needed his Father… and he could feel nothing.  There was nothing… not without Lily.

Turning back around, he continued to stare at the grave where his Lily was buried.  His hair was even more wild than usual; greasy and tangled to match the filthy robes he’d been wearing ever since the funeral.  His cheeks were stubbled and there was dirt beneath his fingernails from where he’d occasionally reach out to claw at clumps of Earth, as though he could somehow reach inside and pull her out… pull her back… Gods he just needed her back and-

“Alright, that’s it.  Moons, take the baby,” Sirius growled.  He handed off the toddler without a word and then grabbed hold of James Potter by the scruff of the neck and dragged him to his feet.  James, drunk as he was, barely even felt it.  He stumbled forward, half-laying against Sirius as legs that had long since gone numb refused to carry him.  Sirius held him up and slapped the bottle of fire whiskey from his hands when James tried to lift it for another drink.

“Prongs I know that this hurts.  And I know that you’re suffering.  And the Gods know that I’d take it all away if I could but I fucking  _can’t_!” Sirius snarled.  “But whut I  _can_  do is remind you that you have a  _son_!  You have a tiny little boy who is suffering just as much as you are!  You can’t just check out like this!  You can’t!”

James heard the words, but only through a fog.  His eyes slid back to the baby who was now half choking on hiccoughing sobs.  And his eyes caught on a pair of dragon’s green orbs that shone through a sheen of tears…

And some small… small part of him slid forward from the shadows, whether he wanted it to or not.  He cursed, gripping his hands into fists as he tried desperately to ignore it.  He just wanted to fade away.  He wanted to fade away and be with his Lily.  

But those eyes… his Lily’s eyes…

“Give him here,” he whispered, holding out his shaking arms for his son.  He curled him close out of habit and began to rock him… 

~~~Potter Manor, One Year Later~~~

“Nooo, Harry likes the dog toy the best, don’t you Harry?” Sirius said as he knelt on the floor amidst the pile of toys that surrounded the 2-year-old.  “It’s your absolute favourite… because you  _love_  your black Labs don’t you Harry?” he teased, tickling the little boy.

Remus rolled his eyes, “Uh huh, except that it’s the  _owl_  toy that he keeps coming back to,” he said as he sent the stuffed owl floating upward to the little boy’s delight.

“That’s because you cheated and made it smell of chocolate,” Sirius grumbled.

James, who’d been half-watching from off to the side, chuckled softly as the pair began to grumble and growl at one another even as they cuddled the baby boy that all three men in the room could equally call son if they wanted.  

Actually, the other two had far more claim to the title most of the time…

Eyeing the glass of Fire Whiskey in his hand, James considered it several times.  He was trying to cut back.  He had forgotten Harry in the bath the other night because he’d been so sloshed.  The thought of what could have happened if Remus hadn’t come in with a fluffy towel (not to mention the broken jaw that Padfoot had given him) had been a healthy inducement toward sobriety.

Glancing at the photograph of Lily that had had him pouring the glass in the first place, he clutched the tumbler tighter.  She was smiling at him, winking at the camera and laughing… those full lips and that perfect little bit of mischief that let him know that he’d been right the first time he’d said she was his soul mate… 

“Papa lookit!” a little voice suddenly shouted, drawing James back to the present.  He turned to see Harry swooping round on his little broom and chasing after the flying owl toy.  He was happy, laughing with glee despite the ugly lightning bolt scar that marred his forehead.  

“That’s excellent Harry!  Look how fast you’re getting!” he said, setting the glass aside untouched…

~~~ Platform 9¾, 9 Years Later ~~~

“Alright now, you and Ron keep an eye on one another, right?” Remus said as he checked over the rucksack that he’d packed for Harry to take with him on the train (for probably the 10th time).  

“We will Moony,” Harry said, rolling his eyes behind his full moon spectacles.  

“Aye and ah, don’t forget that… little item I gave you last night,” Sirius said.  “You’ve got all your ah… Mischief Managed right?”

Harry’s handsome young face split into a huge grin as he said, “Don’t worry, I Solemnly Swear I’ll keep it safe.”

James left off tugging at Harry’s robes and looked at Sirius at the same time that Remus did.  They both starred at him, slack-jawed, and said in unison, “You didn’t…”

“Oh, bloody hell would ya look at the time? C’mon m’boy, best get you into a compartment,” Sirius suddenly said, moving forward and pushing Harry toward the train.

James, now sober for 9 years running, exchanged a look with Remus before they both threw up their hands as one.  There was no repressing Sirius Black when it came to his Godson, and honestly even Lily probably wouldn’t complain too much.  Who knew, that map might just come in damned handy down the road…

He was grinning at Remus and preparing to tease him about the chocolate bars that he knew the werewolf had stored in Harry’s bag when he suddenly let out an ‘oomph!’ as his middle was glomped onto by a pair of arms like a vice. 

“I love you Papa,” Harry whispered, hugging his Father tight.

James felt his eyes growing moist and sonofabitch if Padfoot wasn’t going to win that bet that James would wind up crying when he saw Harry off.  But honestly, he couldn’t complain about his lost galleons.  Not when his son, his little link to his beloved Lily that he’d almost lost to his own stupidity and grief, was hugging him close.  He bent at the waist and pulled him tight, burying his face in his messy black hair as he said softly, “I love you too Harry.  You’re gonna be so bloody brilliant son.”  He smiled and pulled back to meet his Lily’s eyes, not even caring at the dampness of his own.  “Yer gonna knock ‘em dead mate.”

Harry grinned and gave him one last hug before he turned and raced into the train where his ginger-haired best friend was waiting, almost bowling over a girl with bushy brown hair and big teeth in his eagerness.  

James stood back up, handing over the galleons to Sirius without a word as he wiped at his eyes.  And as the three of them waved goodbye to their son, he smiled and said huskily, “Thank you mates.  Thank you for my life.”

Because that’s exactly what they’d given him…


End file.
